How to get rid of pacifier?

I am embarred to admit this, but my almost 3 year old still has a pacifier. I have limited her to ONLY sleeptimes....naps & bedtime. I have an infant that still has a paci so it's hard for me to take hers completely away when our other child still has his. She is a fantastic sleeper.......but only with her paci. She takes good long naps and has been sleeping through the night since she was two months old. I have tried to get her to sleep without it, but she seems very traumatized. Has anyone else had this problem? Does anyone have suggestions for how to remove the paci without ruining her good sleeping and traumatizing her? Also, on another note, I have been reading a book by a sleep expert (Jodi Mindell's book) and was shocked that she says it's fine for kids to sleep with pacis up to 4 years old. I guess that's part of the reason I have let her keep it. However, I'm worried. Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated.