It appears that you believe in god (your choice of name) but are having misgivings about him. I can't help you on this since both your religious and social background are influencing these dreams. I suggest that you speak with your preacher (I don't know the proper term in Islam). If you have a choice of persons to ask, I would suggest a moderate as opposed to a fundamentalist. I would give this same proviso to a Christian or a Jew.
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